Interview with Venus
Hi all! Shannon McKelden here, putting on my journalist's hat. Today I'm interviewing Venus Cronus, star of my upcoming book VENUS ENVY, officially in stores on December 26th.
Shannon McKelden: So, Venus, what's it like to be a star?
Venus: What's it like NOT to be a star? It's not like I've been anything else.
SM: Um, okay, I guess that's true, at least back home on Mt. Olympus. But, when you first came to Earth--what, 2000+ years ago?--nobody KNEW you were a goddess, so you didn't just appear here to find the red carpet rolled out.
Venus: Have you SEEN me? Seriously? I'm the hottest chick anyone on this dreary planet had ever laid eyes on. It wasn't like I had to compete for the spotlight.
SM: Okay, fine. You've always been a star--
Venus: Always. In fact, I think that's why Zeus grounded me...I outshined the old geezer. I mean, who wants a crusty old--
SM: Hey! Watch the lightening-inducing insults, would you! People actually read this blog. No need to zap it out of the blogosphere. So, anyway, considering the obvious healthiness of your ego, it must have been quite a thrill when I thought of writing the book VENUS ENVY.
Venus: When YOU thought of it? Remember that little mind control trick I can use on humans?
SM: Wait a minute! You mean, you--
Venus: I'd been waiting for more than 2000 freaking years! It was about dang time somebody gave me my due.
SM: But I thought...I mean, I was truly inspired when I thought of the title VENUS ENVY. It was my finest moment!
Venus: More like MY finest moment. If I'd been able to type, well, does the word "obsolete" mean anything to you?
SM: Not sure I like that. I think I deserve some credit. After all, I made you look pretty good in this book.
Venus: No one has to MAKE me look good. It comes naturally...Goddess of Beauty ring a bell? Readers will love me with or without your help. And, once I wow them with how I handled Rachel's pathetic love life, they'll be filling my e-mail inbox with requests for advice. Which is why I'm getting my own advice column, too. Our publicist recognized my brilliance and got me that gig.
SM: OUR publicist?
Venus: Would you need one without me? Anyway, everyone, my book is out in less than a week, so put those holiday giftcards to good use. Or pick up a copy of VENUS ENVY on Amazon or Barnes and Noble or some other online book place, and they'll just ship it to you. That way you can save your real shopping time for stores that actually sell things besides books. I mean, it's not like you can look fabulous wearing a BOOK. Well, maybe with MY book.
SM: Okay, since you seem to have taken over this whole interview, do you have anything else to say?
Venus: Oh, I have lots to say, but have you seen some of the pre-Christmas sales going on? I really need to pick up a little something for the holiday.
SM: Afraid you're on Santa's Naughty List so you better pick up your own gifts?
Venus: Ha. Ha. Well, I'm off now! Earn your keep and tell my fans about my book. Ta-ta!
So, there you have it, the definition of ego-maniac come to life.
But seriously...Venus only thinks it's HER book. Really, it's mine, and I think you'll love it. VENUS ENVY is funny and just a little touching. Oh, and it's got a hot firefighter in it. Something every woman can appreciate! I'm also proud to say, VENUS ENVY has been chosen as a BookSense Notable for January 2007. That rocks! Thanks so much to all you independent booksellers who loved VENUS.
One last thing...check out my blog and my website in the next few days for an awesome prize I'm giving away very soon. It's one of a kind, handmade, and beautiful. And, if you're the winner, you and Venus can be fashionably fabulous together. Except that you'll hopefully look better than her, because you actually understand that books ARE the height of fashion.
- Shannon McKelden