Halloween Week Guest Blog & Giveaway Day 5: P.N. Elrod

UPDATE: The winner of a book of their choce by P.N. Elrod is Pam P! Congrats! Please send your physical addy to contests(AT)knightagency.net, along with your book request.

A note from TKA: Today is the final day for our special Halloween week guest blogs and contests. We hope you've enjoyed interacting with these amazing authors! At the bottom of this post you'll find the last question for the scavenger hunt and instructions on how to send in you entry for the $50 Visa gift card! Also, don't forget to leave a comment in this post for a chance to win one of P.N. Elrod's fabulous books!

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Once again through the magic of time travel, writer P.N. Elrod finds herself back in 1938 Chicago. She’s charged into Lady Crymsyn, the nightclub belonging to undead P.I. Jack Fleming of The Vampire Files.

Elrod rushes upstairs to energetically pound on his office door.

P.N. Elrod: Yo, Fleming!
Jack Fleming: (From inside) You again? Take a vacation why don’t you?
Elrod: Wake up!
Fleming: I don’t sleep, remember?
Elrod: Yeah, I remember, I made that up just for you. You’re dead during the day, but it’s night, so get your ass out here!
Fleming: You’re a real peach, y’know that?
Elrod: Move it!
Fleming: (Unlocking and opening the door a crack, looking rumpled) WHAT is your problem?
Elrod: It’s the night before Halloween.
Fleming: You know how a calendar works. I’m happy for you, now go away.
Elrod: Any more lip and I’ll sic Whitey Kroun on you.
Fleming: (Pinching the bridge of his nose) Jeeze, I need a drink.
Elrod: You don’t have time to go to the Stockyards. It’s Halloween tomorrow.
Fleming: You’ve covered that point and your timing’s off. It may be Halloween tomorrow for you, but not for me.
Elrod: Huh?
Fleming: In 1938 Halloween falls on a Monday. I bet in 2009 it falls on a Saturday.
Elrod: Details, details, you drive me crazy.
Fleming: That makes us even, now why don’t you go back to the future?
Elrod: I love that movie.
Fleming: What movie?
Elrod: You’ll find out. Maybe.
Fleming: See you there, then. Maybe. (Tries to shut the door. Elrod won’t let him.)
Elrod: Don’t you get it? It’s gonna be Halloween! You’re a vampire—you need to do something! I’ve been down to the main room of your nightclub and you’ve not even decorated.
Fleming: It’s Halloween, not Christmas, and I will once again point out that this is 1938. We celebrate one holiday at a time, no planning six months in advance for the mercantile element.
Elrod: I GET that, but you’ve not got anythin—
Fleming: I’ve ordered plenty of candy and someone’s coming in tomorrow to put jack-o-lanterns on the tables. Satisfi—no, don’t answer that, I should know better than to ask.
Elrod: That’s it? No black and orange streamers or tablecloths? No cut-outs of black cats and—
Fleming: The club’s name is “Lady Crymsyn,” there’s a lot of red here. My girlfriend told me the colors would clash or something. Anyway, we’re having a costume party. So long as there’s booze flowing no one’s going to care—
Elrod: (Barging past him and into the office.) Terrific! Where’s your costume?
Fleming: I’m wearing a monkey suit.
Elrod: (Halting in shock) You’re going as a gorilla?
Fleming: It’s my tuxedo. Jeeze, look it up in your slang dictionary.
Elrod: Hey, a tux is great! Outstanding! Where’s the cape? Or is it a cloak?
Fleming: If you’re talking about an opera cape, the answer is a flat NO. I wouldn’t be caught undead in one of those things and you know it. We established that in the first book.
Elrod: Yeah, yeah, but you dressed up like Dracula? It’s a natural—I mean, a supernatural!
Fleming: (groans) Lady, are you out of your mind? I am NOT going as Dracula. I’m trying to keep a low profile. There’s enough people who know I’m a vampire, I don’t need to be flaunting it!
Elrod: In my time it’s called “plausible deniability” and it’s great. A vampire would never dress up like another vampire, but you being a vampire dressing like a vampire, means no one would ever suspect that you’re really a vampire. Right?
Fleming: Uh…

(Fleming’s partner, private agent Charles Escott, walks in.)

Charles Escott: Why, Ms. Elrod, I thought I heard your voice. What an utter delight to see you again! (Bows to kiss the back of her hand.)
Elrod: Ohhh, Mr. Escott! Likewise, I’m sure.
Escott: Now-now, I insist you call me Charles.
Elrod: Sure! My goodness—you look outstanding!
Escott: You’re most kind. It’s my new tuxedo. I wore it over from the tailor shop.
Elrod: You look better than outstanding! And that opera cape…is that real red silk lining?
Escott: You’ve an excellent eye. Indeed it is.
Elrod: Not that it isn’t totally awesome, but are you dressed up to be Dracula?
Escott: I thought I would spare Jack the discomfiture. The truth be told, he’s still a bit awkward about the whole vampire business. Self-conscious, you know.
Fleming: I am not!
Elrod: Y’know, you are exactly right. He’s had a heck of a long breaking-in period.
Escott: Exceptionally long. What is it, twenty years now?
Elrod: In writing time. In book time it’s only been about two years, but you’ve nailed it. He should have the hang of things by now. I can’t think what his problem is.
Escott: Perhaps—
Fleming: HEY!! I’m right here!
Elrod: Okay-okay, not so loud, fang-boy! So, if you’re not going as Dracula, then who are you going to be on Halloween?
Fleming: I got a half-mask at the dime store. I’m going as Raffles, the master thief.
Elrod: (Deadpan flat) Raffles. You’re going as…Raffles.
Fleming: You got a problem with that?
Elrod: Raffles is English and you can’t do an English accent to save your un-life. Charles should go as Raffles and you should go as Dracula.
Escott: I’d not thought of that! She has a point, Jack.
Fleming: This dame’s got more points than Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and she’s about as welcome.
Elrod: And after all I’ve done for you.
Fleming: You mean all you’ve done to me! (Digging in his pants pocket) Charles, here’s twenty bucks—take her over to Gordy’s night club and show her around. Let her play the slots. Introduce her to Frank Nitti.
Escott: To Frank Nitti!? Are you mad? I’ll do no such thing!
Elrod: (Grabbing Escott’s arm) Oh, hell-yes, you will! Time’s a-wastin’, big boy, come on. We’re gonna have a blast!
Escott: Er—that sounds rather violent, don’t you think?
Elrod: The way I do it doesn’t hurt a bit!

(They rush downstairs and out, leaving the club. Jack’s girlfriend, Bobbi Smythe, crawls out from under the desk.)

Fleming: You okay, honey?
Bobbi: I’m fine. I hope Pat doesn’t put Charles in traction.
Fleming: If she does, it’ll be his own fault. He encourages her.
Bobbi: Can you blame him? Without her we’re all out of a job. You should be nicer.
Fleming: After all the crap she puts me through? You haven’t seen the half of it. You didn’t have to hide. She’d have left.
Bobbi: I didn’t want to embarrass her. I’m not exactly dressed for company.
Fleming: You’re not exactly dressed, period.
Bobbi: Like the lady said, ‘time’s a-wastin’, big boy.’
Fleming: So what d’you want, sweetheart, trick. . .or treat?
Bobbi: Treat, always treat!

(The lights go out.)

P.N. Elrod's Website: http://www.vampwriter.com/


HALLOWEEN WEEK CONTESTS: Each day this week (Oct. 26 thru Oct. 30th) a guest blogger has given away a signed book to one person randomly chosen from the comment section. Today's prize is a book of YOUR CHOICE from P.N. Elrod (P.N. has a wide array of titles available, so you'll most likely get your pick. However, please note your final choice will be based on what she has in stock.). Check back in this post Monday morning to find out if you are the winner!

SCAVENGER HUNT QUESTION (5 of 5 - FINAL QUESTION): What is the name of the actor P.N. considers her ideal pick to play character Jack Fleming in a movie?

So, it's the final day for our scavenger hunt! Have you been collecting the answers from our guest blogger's official author websites? If not, make haste! There's a $50 Visa gift card at stake! Compile the questions from the posts this week, and send all 5 answers in an email to contests(AT)knightagency.net. Entries must be sent in before the clock strikes midnight on Sunday, November 1st. So get to it! A winner will be randomly drawn on Monday and announced here on the blog. If you have any questions, please email contests(AT)knightagency.net.