Friday, December 17, 2010

TKA Holiday Extravaganza Day 4: Chloe Neill

UPDATE: The winner of Chloe Neill's prize pack is Mysteriousrose. Congrats! Please email your physical addy to contests(AT)knightagency.net.

Chloe Neill is helping us close out our holiday week today with a holiday scene from her Chicagoland Vampires world -- written exclusively for our readers. But before we dive into her post, we want to take a moment to thank all the authors who gave their time and talents to our blog this week. We have had an awesome time and hope these wonderful contributions have put you in the holiday mood. :-)

One lucky commenter will win Chicagoland Vampires and Dark Elite pencils, a TWICE BITTEN audiobook CD, a UK trade paperback copy of FIRESPELL, and HEXBOUND and TWICE BITTEN bookmarks. To enter, share either the best gift OR the worst gift you ever received in the comment section. The winner will be randomly drawn and posted here on Monday, December 20th.

A (CHICAGO) CHRISTMAS STORY

Once upon a time, a young vampire named Merit was perusing the Interwebs in the kitchen of her best friend--a blue-haired sorceress named Mallory Carmichael--when she let out a happy squeal.

"Oh, for cheese and rice!" she merrily exclaimed. "I know what I want for Christmas!"

Mallory, whose hair was piled into a messy topknot as she stirred a caldron of bubbling witches' brew (i.e., Rice Krispie Treats), looked up from the stove. "Fang protectors? Type A egg nog? Tiny aspen stakes to hang on the Christmas tree?"

"Ha. Ha," said Merit, spinning the laptop around so her friend could see. "This!"

It only took Mallory a split-second of checking out the image on the screen before she reached her verdict. "No. You'll poke your eye out."

Merit's smile deflated. "No, I won't."

With a disdainful look, Mallory crossed the kitchen and stepped up to the laptop, pointing at the screen. "That is a ten-inch long, double-edged, serrated-bladed, switchblade dagger. You will poke your eye out with that thing."

"But it's so shiny!" Merit protested.

"You'll poke your eye out."

"And it's a nice, hefty weapon. Size matters, right?"

"Eyeballs matter."

"I'm a vampire. Even if I poked my eye out, I'd heal."

"And in the meantime, you'd be a visually-impaired vampire complaining about your visual impairity. No. Again, you'll poke your eye out. And I don't want to hear about it."

Sullenly, Merit stared at the screen. "How about one of those two-foot-long Toberlone bars? The ones that weigh like ten pounds?"

"That," Mallory said with a smile, "you can have."

And the vampire and her sorcerer friend lived happily ever after. Although Santa did not bring Merit an eye-poker-outter for Christmas, she did receive a Toblerone bar that kept her happily munching (sans weight gain!) for a week of chocolately bliss.

Happy holidays, everyone!

To learn more about Chloe Neill, visit www.ChloeNeill.com.

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67 Comments:

Blogger Linda Henderson said...

The best Christmas gift I ever received was a pair of Grinch house shoes from my daughters. They gave me some matching grinch socks and a beanie Grinch. My favorite holiday movie is the Grinch so they thought I'd like them. I kept them for years but then we lost them when we moved. Happy Holidays to everyone.

seriousreader at live dot com

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 12:05:00 PM EST  
Blogger Roxanne Rhoads said...

I think the worst gift I everreceived was a talk n type program from my husband. Being a writer he thought I would love it- that it would make life easier to talk and let the computer do the typing.

In theory it sounded great.

Too bad things never quite work they way they should.

It was s nightmare trying to set that program up and the words I use only confused the program and it took forever to do anything- so it turned out to be a serious time waster I ended up selling on ebay.

He meant well...

RoxanneRhoads @ aol. com

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 12:34:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The BEST gift I've ever received was last year when my husband bought me a Kindle!!! I'm addicted to it now.

Connie Hendrickson

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 12:34:00 PM EST  
Blogger Lynn said...

The worst Christmas present I received is a book called "Being Dead is no Excuse: The Official Southern Ladies Guide to hosting the perfect funeral" LOLOL

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 12:36:00 PM EST  
Blogger Michelle in Colorado Springs said...

One year I only got tube socks from 3 different people. It kind of sucked.

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 12:41:00 PM EST  
Blogger SandyG265 said...

The worst gift I ever received was a sonic jewerly cleaner. I don't tend to wear jewlery.

sgiden at verizon.net

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 1:28:00 PM EST  
Blogger Moonsanity said...

Chloe: "But it's so shiny". OMG I love Merit! *snort*

The worst gift? 2 years ago my inlaws gave me a set of pans-- I opened the box to find the EXACT set of pans I have already, and didn't really like that much. Why did they buy them you ask? Because my husband told them I WANTED new pans. The reason he may have thought that is because I HATE the ones I have. Now I have two sets of the hated pans. LOL

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 1:41:00 PM EST  
Blogger Sara said...

Worst Christmas gift was one of those Snuggies. You know the comfy, cult-like, robe you wear to keep warm in front of the tv. It was beige. The husband bought it because he wanted one. Maybe he'll be out of the dog house this Christmas.

The Best Christmas gift was the year my husband proposed (10 years ago!). He wrote a song and serenaded me in a restaurant with his guitar and everything. I guess I should probably let the Snuggie thing go. :)
sghorney AT gmail DOT com

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 2:02:00 PM EST  
Blogger loohou said...

The worst gift ever was when I was a kid and I wanted a kaboodle to hold my make up with the matching barbie. But instead my little sister got it. Thanks dad for giving the best gift to the little sister. 20 years later I still like to joke with my sister that we might need to switch gifts since the parents seem to forget who wants what. Good times.

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 2:25:00 PM EST  
Blogger Sharon S. said...

"eyeballs matter" snort. That was funny. Thanks :)

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 2:34:00 PM EST  
Blogger Jezzy said...

''but it's so shiny'' love it!!

I remember getting a doll when i was about 7 maybe 8 yrs old & i was at my sisters house she was hosting the Christmas dinner & there was quite a few guests & it's head fell off & i was screaming very very loudly my sister was far from impressed

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 2:37:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The best gift I ever got was an aruveyda (sp) massage...which was so cool. It took years off my face although it was a back massage. I couldn't believe it when I looked in the mirror and every wrinkle was GONE!!!

I've gotten another one this year. I wish I could afford to have one every week.

Valerie
in Germany
valb0302@yahoo.com

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 3:02:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Chelsea B. said...

I've gotten a lot of amazing gifts over the years, but I have to say, the very worst would have to have been a tooth brush and tooth paste kit when I was fourteen. I mean, why? I have good teeth! What kind of gift is that? s-?

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 3:21:00 PM EST  
Blogger Robyn said...

The best gift I've ever received was when I was 10 or 11, and my mom and her boyfriend got me a new mountain bike [as well as one for my sister]. It was awesome because I had lost my bike in the recent move we had made, and was really missing how fun riding was.

[the_amai_ai @ yahoo.com]

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 4:02:00 PM EST  
Blogger Cybercliper said...

The best gift I get every year is given to me by my guy. Each year he gets me a hand full of gift cards from all my favorite book stores - he says it a lot easier than trying to remember my sizes! annhonATaolDOTcom

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 4:48:00 PM EST  
Blogger traveler said...

The best gift I ever received was a long weekend trip which was totally unexpected and wonderful. Planned and a dream come true.

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 5:00:00 PM EST  
Blogger petite said...

The best Christmas gift was a beautiful winter jacket which I wore and enjoyed so much. Warm, cozy and perfect.

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 5:01:00 PM EST  
Blogger LSUReader said...

I think the worst gift I ever received was from my husband. It was a sweater that would have been too small for me even if I hadn't been 9 months pregnant at the time! Merry Christmas.
(Email in profile.)

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 5:28:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Cindy McCune said...

The most wonderful & fun Christmas was my 1st Christmas on my own. I had nothing. Got a call to come over to my parents house Christmas Eve. There was a HUGE cardboard box waiting for me. In it wrapped in newspaper were cans of food, warm clothes & when I reached the bottom, standing on my head to reach it was a microwave.

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 5:37:00 PM EST  
Blogger Sean said...

The best Christmas gift I ever received was a brand new bike when I was a kid. The worst Christmas gift I ever received was a brand new bike when I was a kid because there was two feet of snow on the ground at the time. It was pure torture just staring at that shiny thing for the next two months.

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 6:39:00 PM EST  
Blogger Diane said...

This guy I was dating for about 18 months, though our first Christmas, gave me two candles in the shapes of monkeys! I don't know if there was a hidden message in there but we broke up a few weeks later.

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 9:05:00 PM EST  
Blogger Elie said...

The best gift I ever received was a lottery ticket when I was in my undergrad years of college. I was broke and in need of cash. I was excited to scratch off the instant and find I won $1000-whoohoo!

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 9:24:00 PM EST  
Blogger BLHmistress said...

The best gift I received has been any gift my son has given me whether he has bought or made. Because its from him its special.

vampiremistress2010@gmail.com

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 9:39:00 PM EST  
Blogger Heather said...

Her book sounds great!

The best gift I received was the news that I was going to have a little sister soon. I'd been an only child for over 20 years and had always wanted a sibling!

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 9:53:00 PM EST  
Blogger elaing8 said...

Love the Xmas story.Merit and Mallory are a hoot.
Worst Xmas gift was this god awful pink sweater I got as a teenager. It had these silver little flecks in it.I cringe just thinking about it.I have no clue what my mother was thinking when she bought that.

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 9:56:00 PM EST  
Blogger Pamk said...

the best gift I got was a replacement ring for my engagement ring. My hubby gave it to me to replace the one that he bought me 20 yrs before that was plumb worn through.
scrtsbpal at yahoo dot com

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 10:25:00 PM EST  
Blogger Dena said...

The best Christmas present I ever received
was a puppy. When I was in 2nd grade I
remember begging my parents for a dog and
I was always told "no". So one evening, a
couple of days before Christmas, mom and
dad left to go "Christmas shopping" leaving
my older sister and me home to watch TV.
We were watching "Frosty the Snowman"
( and yes, it's still the same cartoon the
network's air today )when they came home
and in dad's arms was this puffball of a puppy!

Friday, December 17, 2010 at 11:39:00 PM EST  
Blogger van_pham said...

The worst gift i got was a snoppy watch. I don't wear watches nor do I like snoppy.

Van
Littopandaxpress(At)yahoo(dot)com

Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 1:11:00 AM EST  
Blogger Kirsten said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 8:46:00 AM EST  
Blogger ilona said...

My worse present ever was a DVD of Donny Darko (couldn't understand what was going on it was so weird) and the best present was a Sony E Reader that my shildren clubbed together to buy me last year :D

Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 2:33:00 PM EST  
Blogger YA Vampire Books said...

Best gift: the teddybear I got when I was one, it's been with me since then!;)

yavampire(at)hotmail.com

Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 4:24:00 PM EST  
Blogger Melissa (Books and Things) said...

Worst gift was from my cousin who hated this free watch set she was given. She really didn't like it and was hating on it to me. Guess who she regifted it to? Yep. Me. If the thought that counts, then yep... it was the worst gift (I was on her bad side at the time).

books (dot) things (at) yahoo (dot) com

Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 4:29:00 PM EST  
Blogger Jaz.parks said...

Awesome POST! and, Of COURSE! Thank you so much for the giveaway...

The worst gift i have ever recived was the biography of somebody i didn't/don't know. I sold the book and buy a new one {one i was going to read}. At first i felt bad, but the person that gave me the gift told me it doesn't matter. Now, he gaves me money instead of buying something!

>.<

dani dot prmr at hotmail dot com!

Jaz.parks

Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 5:02:00 PM EST  
Blogger vickyvak said...

The best gift I received is the Kindle my mum bought me last year! It is awesome!

Enter me only if this giveaway is international please!

vicky.vak8(at)gmail.com

Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 5:18:00 PM EST  
Blogger ~Michelle~ said...

Best present was when I got a 10 speed bike before anyone else in my class had one!

Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 5:59:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Dot said...

I never really asked for something secial for christmas, because I was always buying for everyone else. But I quess, my best christmas gift was having all my family safe and happy.

Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 6:27:00 PM EST  
Blogger Patti (Book Addict) said...

From my boss one year I got a "Day of Beauty" (massage, mani, pedi) which is not something I had ever done before - it was wonderful!

Worst gift - when I was about 12, my aunt gave me a tube of 12 rainbow-colored nylon knee-highs (so not cool when you're 12). The kicker? She gave them to me 3 years in a row!

Thanks for the snippet - I love Merit and Mallory! Happy Holidays!

bookaddictpatti at cox dot net

Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 6:57:00 PM EST  
Blogger Moirae(thefates) book reviews said...

Worst gift I ever received was a toilet seat. Dead serious, it was a youth group Christmas party/ white elephant. I was the one who got a white elephant, everyone else got nice stuff it sucked.

The best gift I ever got is hanging on my tree. It was a hand painted ornament my grandma bought me. Then a few months later she was diagnosed with cancer and passed away that fall. It was the last gift I ever got from her and it is prettiest ornament I own.

moiraethefates(AT)gmail(DOT)com

Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 7:06:00 PM EST  
OpenID jagna18 said...

The worst gift that I got was an electronic bank when I was eight- it was cool and all, until I put in the batteries and it started to smoke and make weird noises. It burned a hole through our tablecloth.

Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 7:11:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Allison said...

The best Christmas present ever has to be my early Christmas present this year - my hubby got me my Nook!!! Now I can take my books with me wherever the wind blows us! Best present (& husband!) ever. :)

brilliant dot love at hotmail dot com

Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 7:24:00 PM EST  
Blogger Teril said...

Oh the worst gift ever that I have received would have to be the fruit cake. Every year someone sends me one of these cheap log fruitcakes soaked in Brandy. They are as dense as bricks, and you cannot barely cute them with a knife in fact I should break the hacksaw out. I regret to inform you I use one as a doorstop during the holidays since I would probably be unlucky enough to chip a tooth on it. These are not you awesome Harry and David Fruitcakes, no these are from some dark recess of a shipping house from Christmas past to food poison me.
Happy reading people.

terilhack(AT)gmail.com

Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 8:11:00 PM EST  
Blogger Charmaine said...

The worst gift I received was a honey dipper utensil from my great aunt (hello I was only 10 years old at that time). Nothing has topped that yet!!!

Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 8:18:00 PM EST  
Blogger wanda f said...

Best Present ever was the first year we were married my husband knew I wanted to go treasure hunting and he gave me a metal detector I loved it .Worst gift ever came that same year from my husbands grandmother she gave me a pack of S.O.S. pads and spnonges lol
flanagan@mebtel.net

Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 8:20:00 PM EST  
Blogger Stacy (Urban Fantasy Investigations) said...

The best gift was last year my DH got me my sony E reader. Best gift ever.

Chllybrd(at)gmail(dot)com

Stacy
Urban Fantasy Investigations

Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 9:08:00 PM EST  
Blogger Princess Aurora said...

Worst Christmas Present: a sampler pack of Playdough, A Box of Shamwows and a tin of Stale Hot Cocoa Mix!!!! :) Husbands...... lol....

Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 10:05:00 PM EST  
Blogger cait045 said...

Oh I do love the two of them. Why can't I eat 10 lbs and not gain it. The best gift ever was my puppy. She is so the love of my life.

usignolc(at)yahooDOTcom

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 12:29:00 AM EST  
OpenID mercurialdragon said...

The worst gift I've gotten was a plaid flannel nightgown that was very much not my thing at all. It had lace and ruffles and was just plain ugly and not even very comfortable.

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 12:31:00 AM EST  
Blogger minhchieu said...

the best gift i ever recieved was a pair of UGG boots. ive benn begging my parents for some forever because theyre so cool looking and warm with sheep skin

blubear12@gmail.com

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 1:03:00 AM EST  
Blogger minhchieu said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 1:06:00 AM EST  
Blogger Julie said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 2:10:00 AM EST  
Blogger Julie said...

I think the worst gift I've ever been given was a couple of years ago when my sister's sister-in-law decided to give everyone the fire blankets she'd been given by work (who had over ordered).

theotherjulie8 (at) gmail (dot) com

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 2:11:00 AM EST  
Blogger autumfrailey said...

Id have to say that the best Christmas present that I have ever gotten hasnt actually been unwrapped yet. My mom bought me a Nook this year and I am so excited to unwrap it so that I can start using it. I already bought all the accesories I think that I may need :)

Happy Holidays to everyone and Good Luck.


afrailey@hotmail.com

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 2:35:00 AM EST  
Blogger Enchanted Ramblings said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 4:05:00 AM EST  
Blogger Enchanted Ramblings said...

I must say the best gift I have ever got was my new eReader for this year's xmas (I got it early but its still a xmas prezzie). My first books I read on it was Chloe Neill's Some Girls Bite & Friday Night Bites & Twice Bitten. So I'm very excited to enter this competition and to read A (CHICAGO) CHRISTMAS STORY. Gotta love Merit and Mallory. Happy Reading Everyone & Happy Holidays as well :)

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 4:27:00 AM EST  
Anonymous Kathy said...

The best gift ever was a Kindle, although it did start an unholy addiction to eBooks.

Kathy

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 11:00:00 AM EST  
Anonymous Kristin D. said...

I think the worst gift I've ever gotten was a karaoke microphone from my grandmother. It was thoughtful, but then i had to listen to every member of my tone deaf family sing at least one song on. That gift was definitely a double edged sword. :)

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 1:07:00 PM EST  
Blogger CrystalGB said...

The worst gift was a wall hanging that was covered with feathers and orange and blue beads. It was hideous.

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 2:05:00 PM EST  
Blogger Mysteriousrose said...

My best Christmas gift I ever got is my dog Bonita she is an early Christmas gift this year because we lost our old dog to cancer.

I'm and international follower and I hope it's ok I enter.

forceofstars(at)yahoo(dot)dk

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 3:34:00 PM EST  
Blogger Deanna said...

I think the best gift I ever got was from Mom. She insisted if my birthday had been any month but December I'd receive a separate gift. She never permitted a two-for-one gift for me, nor did she permit Christmas wrapping on my birthday presents. That rule stuck to this day and I'm still receiving separate birthday offerings.

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 8:09:00 PM EST  
Blogger Jessica said...

Best Christmas gift so far...a special fairy ornament off of my Dad's Christmas tree...it inspires me every year and makes me think of my Dad and my family every time I see it.
ireadtorelax@yahoo.com

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 8:49:00 PM EST  
Blogger Loriann422 said...

Best Christmas gift I've received...my Nook ereader, from my sis last year! I was able to purchase The Chicagoland Vampires series at once and read them back to back instead of waiting for them in the mail..nothing beats wanting to read a book and being able to have it instantly! The rest is history! ;)

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 10:20:00 PM EST  
Blogger Anayansi said...

Thank you so much for this contest! The best gift I have ever received was my Kindle. I always thought I wouldn't like e-readers, but now I am addicted and don't know how I managed it before. =) There is something about not having to get out of my apartment to deal with the snow/crappy weather in Boston.

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 10:51:00 PM EST  
Blogger Amy said...

The best Christmas gift I ever received was an amethyst and diamond necklace from my boyfriend.

angeldream3(at)gmail(dot)com

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 11:23:00 PM EST  
OpenID stephanieclapp said...

The best gift I ever received was my snuggie. I received it last year. I love to read or knit while watching TV and it helps to keep me warm.

Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 11:43:00 PM EST  
Blogger hense1kk said...

oh merit! I love you :) Shiny!!! ahah
I would say that the worst gift I ever got was an open bottle of nail polish from a frenemy of mine in highschool. It was made worse because I had spent 30$ and lots of time on her present because I thought we were such good friends.

Monday, December 20, 2010 at 11:05:00 AM EST  
Blogger CiNdY said...

Every year my very lovely Grammy who I love very much sends me my "worse gift"...Most of the time it is some sort of clothing or purses or wallets..well you get the idea!! :D
cmurphy213@yahoo.com

Monday, December 20, 2010 at 12:46:00 PM EST  
Blogger xiaoxia said...

Ugg boots sale Make People See Your Best: Read the story and see photos of a visit to Dallas, TX by TravelPod member ericchole.

Monday, January 10, 2011 at 2:58:00 AM EST  

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