First Impressions by Melissa Jeglinski: December Edition
The writer did a good job of setting up a desperate situation for the story's protagonist. From the first line we get a sense of her being in danger and about to be drawn into something dark and sinister. It's immediately apparent that there is some type of paranormal element involved; so even if I wasn't aware this was a Dark Fantasy novel, I would sense that otherworldly issues were at hand.
She lay on one side. Shackles weighted her wrists to the ground. All of her limbs were useless. (If only her wrists are bound, why are her legs useless?) They weren’t broken, they simply didn’t hold any strength. Against her captors she was a rag doll
, a sack of skin and bones and pliant connective tissue. (Overwritten; rag doll is sufficient.) Nothing more.
Fingers of a fading sun pierced the basement ceiling above. They stretched into a languid fade, (Again, a bit overwritten, using "fade" twice in two connected sentences) making a final grasp across hand-packed earth. Then, too quickly, dusk faded to shadow. Darkness stretched its oily (strange adjective) wings, awakening all that was unseen, calling to life what should long be dead.
The air crystallized with a sudden frost. She shivered again, this time a spasm that rattled against her cold bones. It was the chill that preceded them. The icy breath of animated death.
Fully awake, she listened for their approach.
The cold drew back, lessening without breaking. A soft fog, like an exhale of a hundred breaths, drifted against the edges of the room.
Then a scent tickled her nose. It was followed by a whisper of sound. She sensed movement above, outside of the house. Steady steps. Twenty yards away. Moving closer.
She continued to listen, to taste the cool air that drifted through the crags of old wood. It was not them that she sensed, but something else. Neither demon nor animal. Something that in the three years of her imprisonment she’d never encountered. (This is compelling and leaves me wondering what is about to appear. I want to turn the page.)
While the author does have an atmospheric writing style, they may want to watch the use of flowery language. The text comes off a bit overwritten at times. And while it is good to explore multiple senses (the author had visual, sensory and even auditory descriptions) sometimes it can overload the page.
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First Impressions Schedule: January 5th, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 6th